A huge majority of the times we see male and female interaction in visual narratives - film, tv, music videos, adverts - that interaction revolves around romance. I love romance, and I love romantic interactions between men and women, but I'm also tired of seeing only one shade of sexuality being represented. When coming up with ideas for this new video for "Desire," I deliberately wanted to bring something new to the table. Why are we stuck with one narrative? There is such a vast spectrum of sexualities and identities that exist, and it deserves a lot more love.
Pop music has a longstanding history of, largely, welcoming and accepting the queer community. I am a gay singer for an electro-pop band, and I'm not even close to being the only queer frontman or the only openly gay male singer in the industry. For as open to the queer community as pop tends to be, however, it's still intensely boxed in when it comes to the type of sexuality and gender norms it puts out into the world. I have felt pressure to limit or even outright hide my own sexuality. Some of that pressure has come from myself - internalised homophobia is still something I struggle with from time to time - but much of that pressure has also come from the world around me. Most of the time, this pressure has been well-intentioned. When someone says things like "tone it down," "don't be too gay," "it's quite campy," or the kicker, "don't shove it in people's faces," I know that that person doesn't mean to diminish me. Much of the time, individuals who give me this kind of "helpful" advice are looking out for the band, are looking out for our album sales and place in the charts, are looking out for my own well being. But the reality is that it's not helpful to hear these things. The reality is that straight pop stars get to shove their sexuality in people's faces all the time and it isn't considered overbearing. The reality is that if it's considered "a bit too much" to assert my own sexuality, that's just too bad; I'm planning on shoving my sexuality in everyone's face whenever I want to.
I've been wanting to make a video with some of my queer family for a while now, and "Desire" seemed like the perfect opportunity. All of Figure 9's videos have included similar elements - magical realism, pretty lighting, symbolism. Now, I wanted to add sex.
Let's get one thing clear: I love sex. I love being sexy and feeling sexy and watching other people be and feel sexy. I love having sex. I love other people having sex. Sex between consenting adults is inherently beautiful and empowering. But my conceptualisation of sex and sexiness doesn't, of course, always align with other people's. That's natural, but given the cis-gendered, heteronormative landscape of the current pop world, I wanted to present something new and fresh. (It's important to note here that while seeing non-cisgendered and non-heterosexual individuals expressing their sexualities is new and fresh to me, that isn't the case for many people who live and love outside of the societal binaries most of us are used to.)
My musical idols when I was growing up were almost exclusively female pop stars. Britney Spears, Madonna, Alanis Morisette, Beyoncé, Whitney Houston - all of these women asserted and acknowledged their sexualities in varying ways. When contrasted with most of the male pop stars of the time (although I do love you, Justin Timberlake!) who exuded a kind of alpha male bravado, these women gave me something I could relate to, and something I wanted to emulate. They were singing about men, and I wanted to sing about men, too.
As much as I looked up to these female pop stars, however, I grew up to understand that women in the music industry (and indeed most industries) are also caged when it comes to representations of their sexuality - and here, I am deliberately using the word in its singular form. Female pop stars are expected to exude a sexuality specifically targeted to the heterosexual male gaze, and most of the time they don't have much of a choice about it. I can talk about my sexuality and race all I want, but I will never understand what it's like to be a woman or to operate in this industry as a woman.
I am a man, and as such I have a great amount of privilege. I'm consciously choosing to use the privilege of choice and portray myself as a sexual being. I'm doing this because I don't want to limit or hide my own sexuality, and because I want to present as broad a range of sexuality and gender identities as possible.
What do we expect from pop music? From our pop stars? What do we expect from the ones who are queer? I don't know the answers to these questions - I admittedly don't know the answers to many questions. But I do know that I don't want to see a narrow representation of gender and identity on our screens and in our music. I want my queer family to be able to identify with more and more that's being created and disseminated, not just in the pop world but in all aspects of society, and I want everyone to feel comfortable and safe. Equally importantly, I want cis-gendered, heterosexual individuals to look around and see a diversity of experiences and identities, as well. The greatest limitation to any one person's holistic growth is being trapped in a bubble of sameness.
I want to be proud. I want to shove my pride in people's faces.
Thank you so much for reading. I credit all of you guys - including Mikey and Emre, who I honestly can't say enough about and will always get emotional talking about - for my ability to say things like this, to not feel so scared, and to stand up for what I believe in. I hope you enjoy the video.
Lots of love,
Krishna xx